You Probably Couldn’t See For the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me - Arctic Monkeys

 

In 2005 the Arctic Monkeys released an album that rocked the European Music charts.  What Ever People Say I Am, Thats What Im Not was their debut album, that set a solid foundation for the bands success and was surely going to be one of the bands greatest releases. The song You Probably Couldn’t See For the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me was a fast paced narrative that discussed the narrators attempts to attract a lady. He however, was accompanied by some competition, and was quick to use imagery to judge there expressions, stating that “One look sends...the feeling... coursing through the veins. back up to their brains to form expressions on there stupid faces.” When he finds a chance to speak to the pretty girl, his words come out in “Gibberish” (Figurative Language), and alludes to a popular, british, television character by regarding his situation as “go[ing] a bit Frank Spencer”. A hyperbole is also created when he exclaims, “You had us all standing on our heads, doing our best tricks,” in order to convey his disgruntled state. But these lyrics create more then just a story, they also create a rhythm using the repetition, “Never again, Never again”. The lyrics also repeat themselves once more when using the first two lines of the song as the last two lines as well.

By using fast paced lyrics and relatable songs the Arctic Monkeys have become a hit around the world. Today they released a new album called Suck It and See that will (this reporter hopes) will send them hurtling further into success.

Lyrics:

One look sends it coursing through the veins, oh how the feeling races

Back up to their brains to form expressions on their stupid faces

They don't want to say hello, like I want to say hello

My heartbeat's at its peak, when you're coming up to speak

And oh I'm so tense, never tenser

Could all go a bit Frank Spencer

And I'm talking gibberish

Tip of the tongue but I can't deliver it...

Properly

Oh, it's all getting on top of me

And if it weren't this dark

You'd see how red my face has gone, yeah

Everybody's trying to crack the jokes and that to make you smile

Those that claim that they're not showing off are drowning in denial

But they're not half as bad as me, say anything and I'll agree

Cause when it comes to acting up, I'm sure I could write the book

And now that you're more than a part in the play

It's slightly easier to think what to say

You had us all standing on our heads

Doing our best tricks, yeah

Never again

Never again

Will there be another one quite as desirable as you?

One look sends it coursing through the veins, oh how the feeling races

Back up to their brains to form expressions on their stupid faces

School Takes Stand Against Child Obesity

 

In todays school system, it is challenging to find an institute that is willing to tackle the modern complications of todays society.   However, in the calm tranquil heart of the Okanagan Valley, lies a Penticton school that has built its foundations upon eradicating these pressing problems. It’s name is Princess Margaret Secondary,  and it is one of the first schools in BC that has taken the annotative to tackle one of today’s most pressing problems, child obesity.

When first entering the premises of this school the most noticeable thing is the student to parking ratio. With an estimated 120 legal drivers attending this institute there is only 50 stalls. To most this would seem as a problem, but to PMSers this is a challenge! By creating a petit parking area, students are subconsciously encouraged to walk to school! This is Genius. It’s a fresh thought that is bringing a new meaning to “Obese Prevention” and what professionals regard as being “absolutely brilliant”. 


Absence of parking stalls is not the only way Princess Margaret has taken a stand against obesity however. There is another contributor built straight into the infrastructure.Princess Margaret is a school with a main common area just inside the front doors, with to main hallways branching in the northern and eastern directions. At the end of these hallways sits the schools only two stair cases. Again, another weight loss encouragement. If a students class resides in one of the upstairs hallways, the student has to travel to the end of one of the two main hallways, in order to reach the ascending passage. This is much more walking, for the average student, however it seems to most that this arrangement is thought to be much more positive then negative. “ Always used to watch my weight back when i was in middle school,” says Jimmy, a first year grade 9 student, “but now that Im attending Princess Margaret, I know that I’m walking the proper distance, to burn the right amount of calories.”  

Though Princess Margaret has accomplished many feats on its own, there is one aspect of child obesity prevention that wasn’t introduced by themselves. When the  all “unhealthy” foods were taken out of the school vending machines in 2007 there was a massive uproar of disapproval from the students. This is no longer a problem however, because now that the initial anger has worn off, the students have come to realize just how fattening the items available in the vending machines actually were. This has lead to a general understanding that “if you don't like the food don’t eat it,”  and with that kind of attitude students can’t help but stay slim.

Child obesity is a very serious and a pressing problem in todays society. Be as it is, Princess Margaret has found ways in order to prevent their students from becoming fat and has helped them to become slimmer then ever.

Save File as: Mr.Kleatsisahorriblecoach.pdf

123 Four Street
Beautiful, British Columbia,
V12 345

May 16, 2011

Mr. Kleats
Tee-ball Coach
324 HorribleCoaching Avenue,
Beautiful, British Columbia
V12 E45



Dear Mr. Kleats


I am the parent of Talented Timmy, who is on your Tiny Tots tee-ball team and I am very happy with the time you have spent coaching. However I have a few concerns of which I feel are important enough to be addressed.

On the saturday game, I couldn't help but notice that, during the game against the "Tough Toddlers",  you yelled at a player as well as lectured the team on "the importance of winning". Though everyone has different coaching technics, I feel that a different strategy may be needed in order to communicate with your young audience. I also feel and winning is important, nonetheless I would enjoy to see more emphasis on having fun.
In the past few weeks, I have also recognized,  you have arrived after the scheduled practice time and that often the practices themselves, are very disorganized. I understand that you are volunteering, and may be very busy. I can relate for I often have trouble getting Timmy there on time because of his sisters dance a half hour prior. All the same it would be greatly appreciated if you could arrive promptly, and create a more officiant practice schedule. This would insure our children's improvement and be a better use of everyone's time. As well I would be willing to offer my services if you ever need any assistance.
Also, My son has informed me that you have become very fond of his skills and that he has been getting a lot of playing time. I am extremely grateful for this and my son enjoys the compliments, however, it would be nice to see Little Jimmy get some playing time, for we don't know how much longer he has left.

I am very greatful that you have taken the time to read this message and I hope that you will concur with my concerns. Again, let me know if there is anything of which i can assist you with.

Sincerely

Legendary Louis

Paul's Predicament

        Paul Sanderson sat, reading the last article in the paper before he went to bed. Light and glasses on, he enjoyed the comfort of his soft mattress and warm sheets, as the article seemed to lull him to sleep.

        Janet, his wife, had just come back from her Wednesday jog and was freshening up before bed. “Did you notice I came home a little later then usual?” Janet yelled, from the bathroom.

“Hmm?” Paul’s answer was half hearted; he had heard what she had said. However, he was on the last paragraph of his article and didn’t want to refocus his attention.

“Did you notice,” Janet walked into the room, “that I was later then usual?” she repeated.

Paul, realized he was going to have to respond. Only moving his eyes, he glanced over the newspaper. Janet wondered over to the side of the bed, grooming and ruffling her hair with her hands. When she reached the bed, she opened up the sheets, still using one hand as a comb. Paul, set down his unfinished newspaper, folded it and responded, “I hadn’t noticed. Something exciting happen?”

“No. It was horrible.” Janet crossed her arms and slumped into her pillow “I’m never doing it again.” she spat. Paul knew that Janet was over reacting. Rolling his eyes he looked to Janet. She was staring at the wall. “Oh ya, and why’s that?” Paul casually responded.

“Because the other girls are to fast for me.” Janet moaned, “I can’t keep up! It’s embarrassing!”

“Well, aren’t you out there to have fun?” Paul tried to sound interested, “Why don’t you just try to compete with yourself?”

“Don’t give me that.” Janet tossed Paul a sharp look. “They all joke about it. Talkin’ to each other sayin’, ‘Well at least you’re not a slow as Janet.’ Or ‘don’t slow down you’ll catch up to Janet.’ It’s supposedly all in good fun but, it’s still humiliating. I’m finished!”

Paul tried to calm her down. Maybe if she had another reason to stick with it. “Well, what about all that Christmas fat you wanted to burn off?” This was not the right thing to say. Instantly Janet swung her head over with wide eyes. “Honey, Christmas was four months ago. Does it look like I still have fat from four months ago?” Janet was starting to sound hysterical.

Paul new he was in hot water. So he picked up his newspaper, and pretended to look for his previous article. “Honey,” he responded casually, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Janet gave Paul an very angry look, got out of bed, walked towards the bathroom, stopped, turned around, came back to the bed, slumped back into her pillow and crossed her arms. “I’m going to bed.” She growled.

But she didn’t. She just sat there staring at Paul. These were some very tense minutes for Paul.

A Brighter Future

As the bell rings and resonates through out the halls of Princess Margaret Secondary, swarms of adolescents, mostly Caucasian, with a few aboriginal and East Indians in the mix, flow through the doors of their previous classroom. With a spring in each individuals step and a glowing expression of jubilance upon their faces, each student walks to there next class while taking part in there own kind of revelry. It’s an amazing atmosphere and being located in the small town of Penticton, B.C., one gets a real sense of community within these walls. Such a strong sense in fact, that when pressed by the topic of Bullying, the problem is actually, NOT a problem.

When asked about the topic, the school principle, Mr. Grady responded saying “Here at Princess Margaret, we pride our selves on the lack of bullying cases that have been found and we continue to make our students aware that bullying is wrong.” A student, Andrew Livsey agrees, “You’re a moron if you think bullying is a problem here. People that think there getting bullied just have a ridiculous lack of humour!” One may ask the question. “Well, how does this school create such a blissful, social environment, while many other schools in Canada are struggling?” The answer, as mentioned before, is community.

Through out the year, Princess Margaret holds many events that are uncommonly found in Canadian schools. There is Mr. Maggie, which puts five of Princess Margaret’s most distinguished men in a contest to win the affection of four judges, as well as Western week, were each day there’s new western themed event. Some may say that these events are a waste of time, and decrease productivity. However, this just may, be the secret to Princess Margaret’s success on anti-bullying. For every event that is held at Princess Margaret is a bonding experience for the whole school. Pink Day is actually, a whole event dedicated to the anti-bullying cause. This is when the whole school wears pink in order eradicate bullying. However, when one talks to the students the general consensus seems to be, that bullying has been eradicated, and now the day is more a celebration of that.

Princess Margaret is on the forefront of the anti-bullying movement and is an institution that every school in Canada should model themselves after. With a blissful atmosphere and school bonding events, Princess Margaret is a glimpse at the brighter future.  

Yay for you!

Congratulations, University of Oxford!

You are now the proud recipient of my prestigious application. After many a day of comparing campuses, comparing meal plans, comparing dorm layouts, and comparing over all status and praise, I have found that your institution will be most suitable for my needs. Though you undoubtedly studied my biography and my recent collection of non-fiction books, this will not be enough information, when you inform the press of your shining achievement. So I’ve included a short manual of my greatest “Off Record” accolades, in order to prepare you for the onslaught of questions the press may have.

When I opened my tiny, infant, eyes for the first time in my life, I found myself in the icy pits of an arctic chasm, abandon by my mother. This was my home. Taught and raise by polar bear young I learned valuable tactics for surviving in “The Real World” and now I’m a high profile business man that makes millions by day and helps homeless by night. I've made millions of products from "Super Snickers" to the "Snuggy Wuggy" and they were obviously very successful, other wise I wouldn’t own my own island. Designed and built by the hard labor of moi. On weekends, I spend my spare time catching bee's, catching Z'sss and catching women. I also see dead people.

The future can't hide from me. Nor can it control me. My mind is so advanced, I make the future. My mind is so advanced; I have built a time machine. My mind is so advanced that I can speak to animals. I understand women.

           

I am nature but I am not the earth. I convince babies not to cry after birth. The Mona Lisa was drawn by me. Leonardo Da Vinci coloured it in, with his crayons.  My favorite hobby is walking along China’s “Great Wall”. I discovered helium after studying with the great Dr. Van Camp!

I created the numbers 1,2,3 but do not use them for all math is mundanely easy. I sort my novels via cover colour and I speak every language. When extraterrestrials need treaties made in order to stop extrasolar wars, they come to me. I culminate in Kraft Dinner preparation.

            With the acceptance of this application, I will be in need of a box of smarties, a map of all McDonalds in the surrounding area, and a purple knitted uniform baring the Oxford crest. Failure to oblige to these commands will result in the withdrawal of my application as well as the utmost embarrassment.

            I look forward to attending this institution and know that one day I will add Oxford to my resume.

New Breed

      There is a cold, stark, black and white television, that continuously plays behind the lens of their eyes. Containing a grey static fog, calculating, and recalculating words and equations that years ago, were non-existent. Even to glance at these pupils, causes one to become shackled in their gaze. Slowly pulled in like a fish on a hook, and even if one was able to muster enough strength, to tear themselves from that look, they would only be met with a stone cold expression. An expression, that could harden your soul, as if to Clutch your abdomen with it's golden fist.
         
       Saturated in probaganda, they have become slow dormant figures that stalk through the halls. Practically robotic, but still seem to be human. They are over worked and deathly tired but have an intoxicating goal. The goal, is to set themselves up for a certain status when they leave the system. A certain status that will surely, lead to riches. However, will they be content?
       
        This is the new kind of grade 12 student. One that is set up for success, and is well trained for the long and stressful hours of a drab society. And for their final days in the public school system, they will read, write, and study in search of a happier future.